ESC 2021 Preshow: 07. Australia

Montaigne - “Technicolour”

Semi 1, #05

Going for ye olde colonial spelling <3 She knows her sneaky little Eurovisions <3

In a bizarre fluke, Australia have become one of the most underrated entries in the entire year lol. Like, seriously?  Australia FINALLY send an amazing song to Eurovision and the gays don’t care? Tell me I’m not the only one who feels that way because if that’s how we’re using our rights, I doubt we deserve them. ????

but first things first. “Technicolour” is a lovely fresh perky fun-chaotic mess that is fun to listen to hours on end. The contrast with “Don’t break me” couldn’t have been greater. DBM was contrived, faux-artistic and formulaic underneath its repulsive presentation. The song was a basic bitch with no imagination and no amount of Grundel Toad cosplay was going to alter that.

“Technicolour” however is exactly what I would have hoped from Montaigne in the first place. Delectable indiepop laced with extremely quotable lines, interesting twists and turns, with a faint but palatable undertone of underlying social critique and self-empowerment. A true bop in the best possible sense. To quote the slightly less pop icon Icona Pop I DON’T CARE [it’s montaigne/australia] I LOVE IT. and look at that, the internet seemed to agree  with me at first. 

Incidentally, it’s very fun to say the word “Technicolour” in a mock-Aussie accent <3

Unfortunately a Eurofag’s favour is fickle at best. The internet lost it when the live (posted above) was released and they slammed it as horrible, an earsore, a disgrace to us Christians, etc ofc they did. ???? It’s *the first live performance ever* of a song released no more than 48 hours beforehand, in the open air where the acoustics are always going to be horrible. It’s not a finished product, THINK for a second!! 

For what it was, I thought Montaigne’s performance was pretty awesome and it showed off the potential of her song on a live stage. “Two months of rehearsal time would be enough to drill Montaigne into performing it well without mishaps.” I thought. 

Until…

The travel ban. I would lie if I said that Montaigne being made prisonder in an antipodean Alcatraz didn’t damp my excitement for her. Her not being there simply isn’t the same thing, you know? It sucks though because “Technicolour” really is that good and it could have SLAYED at Eurovision, but I guess we’ll never know what we’re missing. Hopefully the live-on-tape is strong enough to put a final nail in Miss Efendi’s Y-shaped coffin. ^__^

Predicted Journey - Australia

ANOTHER baffling part of the Montaigne journey are the bookmakers. They have put her last. Last. LAST PLACE? OVER VASIL??? Will the insults EVER end?

Fortunately all those nasty dudes will be PROVEN wrong because Montaigne’s a grown woman she doesn’t need certainty to get her pot of gold, okay!!! It surely would have been EASIER if she were, you know, physically present in Rotterdam,  though, but that’s on her country’s OBSESSIVE reglementation, no exceptions granted. (Lol I’m Belgian. I really shouldn’t throw stones in that regard <3)

However, I also have Montaigne as NQ at the moment. In this Eurovision game Montaigne has always been her own worst enemy as her voice and um, let’s say, general presentation (I personally LOVE the Nothing Compares 2 U-esque tease of her current look but I suppose that’s not for everyone.) have split opinions in the past. These things already exclude her from the higher qualifier tiers by default.

On top of that, Montaigne doesn’t seem excited for the live-on-tape version, and while most of that I’m sure is disappointment because she won’t be attending the contest in person (remember: this woman had a sobbing meltdown when she heard of 2020′s cancellation. She ain’t perfect but Jessica Cerro cares a lot about Eurovision), but it also suggests the taped performance wasn’t that good. Montaigne herself implied Aus were planning on completely revising the staging if they had gone meaning they had come up with a better idea they’ll now never get to use. 

Personally I think it’s totally fair if she gets to re-record her tape (as far as we know she’s the ONLY artist not making the trip) with the new envisioned staging, but I’ve accepted that she NQ’s for the moment being. Imagine though if she were to qualify over Efendi or Elena after all… ???? 

Projected placements

> Qualifier tier: Unlikely
> Semifinal: 8th-16th (out of 16)
> Grand Final: 18th-26th (out of 26)

THE RANKING

01.
02.
03.
04.
05.
06.
07. AUSTRALIA - Montaigne - “Technicolour”
08. FRANCE - Barbara Pravi - “Voilà”
09. BULGARIA - Victoria - “Growing up is getting old”
10. LATVIA - Samanta Tina - “The moon is rising”
11. GREECE - Stefania - “Last dance”
12. SWEDEN - Tusse - “Voices”
13. IRELAND - Leslie Roy - “Maps”
14. CROATIA - Albina - “Tick Tock”
15. MOLDOVA - Natalia Gordienko - “Sugar”
16. ITALY - Måneskin - “Zitti e buoni”
17. ALBANIA - Anxhela Peristeri - “Karma”
18. UNITED KINGDOM - James Newman - “Embers”
19. LITHUANIA - The Roop - “Discoteque”
20. ESTONIA - Uku Suviste - “The lucky one”
21. FINLAND - Blind Channel - “Dark side”
22. AZERBAIJAN - Efendi - “Mata Hari”
23. the NETHERLANDS - Jeangu Macrooy - “Birth of a new age”
24. CZECH REPUBLIC - Benny Christo - “Omaga”
25. DENMARK - Fyr og Flamme - “Øve os på hinanden”
26. SLOVENIA - Ana Soklič - “Amen”
27. SWITZERLAND - Gjon’s Tears - “Tout l’Univers”
28. ROMANIA - Roxen - “Amnesia”
29. SERBIA - Huricane - “Loco loco”
30. POLAND - Rafał - “The ride”
31. ISRAEL - Eden Alene - “Set me free”
32. GEORGIA - Tornike Kipiani - “You”
33. PORTUGAL - The Black Mamba - “Love is on my side”
34. SPAIN - Blas Cantó - “Voy a quedarme”
35. NORWAY - Tix - “Fallen Angel”
36. CYPRUS - Elena Tsagrinou - “El Diablo”
37. AUSTRIA - Vincent Bueno - “Amen”
38. NORTH MACEDONIA - Vasil - “Here I stand”
39. GERMANY - Jendrik - “I don’t feel hate”